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my smartphone conundrum

For a while now (at least two years) I’ve been on the dumb-phone side of the mobile device world. I have an LG Rumor Touch, which is for lack of a better word, adequate for my uses. But deep down inside my loins I’ve always pined for the sleek, sexy, brushed metal and smudge-resistant glass of an iPhone.

Now I must say, my phone is more than able to handle my day-to-day communication needs. It’s got a tactile, slide-out keyboard (which i love), SMS capability (obvi), and it’s got the ability to make and recieve calls (more on that later). The thing is, though, it’s not smart. You can get lost in menu after menu after menu and still not find what you’re looking for. Plus, the music app is designed with java, and on my phone it takes a loooooong time for it to start up. So all in all, my phone remains simply that: a phone.

But that’s where I find myself pining for more. The smartphone is not just a better phone, it’s the integration of all digital life into a hand-held device. Just look at the iPhone. It’s an awesome phone (in the way it handles calls, voicemail, sms), but it’s also infinitely more than that. It’s an iPod, a web browser, an email client, a flashlight, a gameboy, and sooooo much more. That’s what I look at when I peer over the fence dividing the world of hand-helds. It’s a gross understatement to call the iPhone a phone. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that it’s really a handheld computer.

And thus I torture myself with reckless jealousy and envy over people who have smartphones, especially kids who are like 13 and have their own iPhone. I mean come on. I also have a special contempt for people who only use their smartphone for texting and simple tasks (like my dad’s generation). IT’S A FUCKING COMPUTER, DUDE! USE IT TO ITS MAXIMUM POTENTIAL!!! (and so on and so forth).

I’m sure one day I’ll get a smartphone and breathe a sigh of relief, only to later be consumed by the vastness of the device (i.e. checking stuff while peeing, walking, eating, etc). I suppose I should cherish these days of simplicity and dumb-phones, because soon enough, they will be washed away with the likes of beta-max and hd-dvd.

December 2018
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