lately I’ve been reading. a lot.
i suppose that’s part of the reason i haven’t written in a while; after reading brilliant philosophy or listening to an enthralling lecture, it’s hard to write anything of your own.
in these talks, i found a certain resonance with one of the things Brown said about depression; that in nearly all cases, it is brought on by shame. shame is the voice telling you that you’re not smart enough, good enough, strong enough, pretty enough. shame is the one telling you you’re not worthy.
shame resonates differently with men than it does with women. women are constantly under societal pressure to “do it all, do it well, and never let them see you sweat.” as well as constant bombardment from advertisements and pop culture about what the perfect female should look like. men only have one societal mantra: never be perceived as weak.
we’ve all felt some sort of shame before, and it is always born in vulnerability. when people are vulnerable, they’re completely undefended, completely helpless. while vulnerability can lead to shame and depression and heartbreak, vulnerability is also the birthplace of love, of empathy and of connection.
when people are open with each other and not afraid to be vulnerable, connections and empathy are free to form. and despite the misconception that vulnerability is weakness, it exudes an inner strength that is unparalleled by veiled actions and shameful avoidance of vulnerability.
i think one of the reasons i haven’t blogged in a while is because i realized how vulnerable it really made me. i felt shame when i thought about all the emotionally charged posts i made public, and it made me want to avoid writing any more. all kinds of different people can come onto this page and read what i’ve written, and they could potentially ruin me or humiliate me using my own words. but in being vulnerable and writing what feels right, i only hope to promote more empathy and connection. i hope that somebody feels the same way i do, so they can know they aren’t alone out there. being open and defenseless can be hard, sometimes excruciatingly so, but it’s the only way we can connect with each other.
i hope you watch and enjoy the two videos above, i did. knowing the destructive thought patterns that occur in your head is the first step; making those thoughts known. i’m going to do more in my life to promote vulnerability (hopefully), starting with this.
look, i know it’s tiresome, trite, and a bit preachy, but you must realize that this here is simply my method of getting my thoughts on paper (or digital paper). before i head to my first class(es) of the semester, i’d like to sit down and write a little bit of what i know about karma.
now if you’re of a western faith, the concept of karma may not be in your realm of familiarity, but that is why i am here. i’m here to teach, to enlighten, and to boost my image of myself. that being said, let’s get into it.
karma is an ever-present force of the universe, and it is a part of the energy our world is made of. the beatles’ album ”abbey road” mentions the existence of karma in the last song, ‘the end’: “and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” of all the quotes from beatles songs, this is one of the most relevant to our daily lives. it speaks a simple message about karma; that whatever kind of energy you put into the world will come back to you. this is the basis of karmic thought; as justin timberlake put it: “what goes around comes around”.
when you introduce love and kindness to the world, you encourage love and kindness to be reciprocated. you make the world a better place. you lift the karmic weight from your soul. the same is true for the opposite. when you hurt and do wrong to people, all you encourage is for hurt and wrong-doing to come back to you. this happens all the time, and eventually the wrong-doers feel the pain and remorse for their actions. this is karma in action.
now, i’ve always believed that these principles are true, and many people second that belief. it’s just common knowledge. elementary school shit. the golden rule. some people, however, are blissfully unaware of this rule of common human decency. they burn and hurt and scar others without any thought to how it might feel from their perspective. i pity these people, because all they do is create a web of bad energy, of deceit, of lies that will all come back to them. no energy may be created nor destroyed, only transferred. one day all those things will come back to them, and hopefully they will survive it and become better individuals because of it. but don’t hold your breath.
if ever you find yourself in a world of hate and misery, don’t become a part of it. don’t get caught up in the ease and fun of name-calling and arguing. take a deep breath, open your eyes, and spread all the love you can. hopefully (and most likely), you will find that the love and good-will comes right back to you. that’s karma in action.
there are certain things that thoroughly prove the idiom “ignorance is bliss”. when dealing with certain aspects of one’s life, one may find it easiest to remain ignorant. out of sight, out of mind.
i find that this tactic works especially well, especially when dealing with certain kinds of people. and by certain kinds of people, i am referring more specifically to people who don’t add any positivity to one’s life. some people (and sometimes not of their own volition) just don’t have the power to add positive things to your life. they only detract. and it’s not about judgement, it’s just an observation of fact. when dealing with people like this, it’s usually best to just cut them off. out of sight, out of mind. ignorance is bliss.
it may feel harsh at first, or even unfair. this is arbitrary, as the only thing that really matters is your well-being. it doesn’t hurt to burn down a bridge every now and then as long as it serves to better your quality of life. it’s about knowing yourself and knowing what you want. and if you want peace, sometimes you must sacrifice.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m much better off not knowing you.