i can’t stop thinking about that vast void beyond college. a world without school. it scares the fuck out of me.
for so long i’ve been cradled in the protective womb of academia, and i’ve loved it. i mean, c’mon. being a student is fucking awesome. for the entire history of western civilization, students have been revered as seekers, dreamers. now i stand on the verge of becoming a nobody, a wash-up, a has-been.
it scares the shit out of me that soon i’m going to have to submit, to surrender. my ‘fuck it’ attitude i hold so dear, i’ll need to cast it away. i’ll soon be full-tilt in the rat race that makes up our society, and it’s going to suck.
maybe one day i’ll even meet a girl i’ll want to marry, and then i’ll probably marry her, and then she’ll probably divorce me and leave me broken and helpless and dead.
all these things are possible out there, in the real world. it’s fucking terrifying.
so next time you’re wondered why i’m stressed, re-read this post.
lately i’ve been waking up in the morning, mostly around 9:30-10am. if anyone knows me, they’ll know that this is a complete paradigm shift for me. just a week ago i was proudly amongst the contingency of people who fall asleep in the am and wake up in the pm. now it’s the inverse, and it has had some surprising results for me.
the morning is just such a magical time of day; you can just about tangibly feel the infinite potential the day has to bring. every single day can be the beginning of the rest of your life (and is). the morning is especially important in the winter, because of the sun leaving us so early in the evening. being awake in the morning allows one the luxury of more hours of sunlight, which are increasingly important in winter.
even physiologically, the morning is best. more sunlight allows for more transdermal collection of vitamin d, which allows for more seratonin to be produced in the brain. it’s a win-win-win to wake up early. it’s fact.
so for those of you who still hide from the sun, who still lay in bed while the rest of the world springs to life: you’re missing out. try it and you’ll see.
there are certain things that thoroughly prove the idiom “ignorance is bliss”. when dealing with certain aspects of one’s life, one may find it easiest to remain ignorant. out of sight, out of mind.
i find that this tactic works especially well, especially when dealing with certain kinds of people. and by certain kinds of people, i am referring more specifically to people who don’t add any positivity to one’s life. some people (and sometimes not of their own volition) just don’t have the power to add positive things to your life. they only detract. and it’s not about judgement, it’s just an observation of fact. when dealing with people like this, it’s usually best to just cut them off. out of sight, out of mind. ignorance is bliss.
it may feel harsh at first, or even unfair. this is arbitrary, as the only thing that really matters is your well-being. it doesn’t hurt to burn down a bridge every now and then as long as it serves to better your quality of life. it’s about knowing yourself and knowing what you want. and if you want peace, sometimes you must sacrifice.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m much better off not knowing you.