This tag is associated with 2 posts

my mother is trying to turn me into a gentile.

so for those who don’t know, my dad’s jewish, but my mom was raised catholic.  i was raised jewish, had a bar mitzvah, yadda yadda yadda, we usually celebrate hannukkah. a few years ago, feeling the need to express her love for the spirit, my mom bought a miniature tree for the kitchen counter. it’s like 3 feet tall or so, and i didn’t have any thoughts about it, i mean hey, it’s a miniature.

but now, this year, my mom comes home one day with a 7-foot fir tree and a tree stand. mind you: i’ve never experienced a plant of such proportions within my household before, so it was a big deal. and i’m thinking: god, it’s hard to compete with the christmas spirit, isn’t it?

i mean hannukkah isn’t even a good holiday. don’t get me wrong about jewish holidays though, i love them. passover especially, because of all the delicious foods and such. it’s like a second thanksgiving in the spring time. but hannukkah, well jeez, it’s just a shit holiday. as a kid i used to like it a lot, because i got presents and because i thought it was the jewish christmas, which it is, but only in the ‘giving gifts’ department. but then as i’ve grown up i’ve realized why it’s toted as such: because it falls in december (usually).

i mean look, it’s nearly impossible to compete with christmas these days. not only are you bombarded with the songs all the time, but you’re also being blasted with ads that equate money with love. for a jew during christmas, it’s hard to be left out. i was one of the only jewish kids of my friends growing up, and i always envied them for having christmas. the king of all holidays.

but that being said, i dont think that hannukkah should try to fill that christmas void, because it simply can’t. i mean, giving gifts for eight days is kind of nerve-wracking for the kids (and also kind of fun i guess), but it shouldn’t try to be what it’s not. i see christmas in america not as a religious holiday, but more of a season of consumerism and materialism that all can share. wouldn’t jesus have wanted it that way?

so this year as i look at the tree, i’ll remember the warm memory of me wasting all this page space talking about nothing. so yeah. merry holidays.


i love stephen colbert

i don’t know why but stephen colbert never gets old to me. his jokes are always funny, and his persona never ceases to amuse me.

the brilliant thing about colbert’s character on the show is that he is always right, no matter if he is proven wrong by an expert on the subject. in fact, especially if he is proven wrong by an expert on the subject. the only thing that matters to colbert is that he get a chance to speak, and speak he does.

it’s just so refreshing to know that since its inception, the colbert report continues to entertain with awesome jokes and satire. i especially love campaign season, because the colbert report’s jokes w/r/t political commercials are always spot-on. thank you, stephen colbert. you’re the best.

July 2018
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