in my pompous opinion (impo)

This category contains 23 posts

why aren’t you listening to guthrie govan right now?

look, guys. i know you have your own individual and relevant tastes in music. that’s okay, it’s what makes america great: the right of choice. but if you people aren’t listening to Guthrie Govan’s Erotic Cakes, you’re missing out BIG time. here are a few irrefutable facts that will invariably lead to you going to your local record store and buying ten copies of this album.

1. the album is named ‘erotic cakes’

how much more edgy can you get? it’s sexy, delicious, and when it comes down to it, everybody loves cake, no matter what it’s shaped like.

2. it’s an ear-pleaser

this album is about as smooth as the smoothest thing you’ve ever experienced, times 100. minus four. plus 12 billion. yeah. that smooth.

3. i like it, therefore anybody with any kind of sophistication will like it too

i don’t mean to talk myself up too much, but i do have better music taste than all of you, and you could all learn a thing or two by paying attention to what i’m listening to on a daily basis. this is really a kind of charity i’m doing here, giving you the heads-up on a solid album that you would have never thought to get yourself. you’re welcome.

so there you have it, if you’re not completely convinced that you should go buy this album twenty times over, you’re illiterate. but fret not, because in this age of information i can convince you with the power of youtube:

go get this album, and then feel free to email me your thanks. i’ll be happy to receive them.


do you guys even remember jar jar binks?

i’m disappointed in you guys. i thought we were all on the same page. i thought we all agreed that with the completion of the 3 star wars ‘prequels’, george lucas swiftly and effectively raped our childhood.

and of those 3 prequels, the phantom menace is easily the worst one. i mean come on. half of the plot involves motherfucking jar jar binks, the most hated character of the silver screen (he deserves it). jar jar is, hands-down, the most infuriating character to watch. george lucas must really hate his viewers, or maybe he just doesnt give a fuck about them.

and look- i know kids are ‘cute’ and all, but for the love of god; the kid they got to play anakin skywalker is THE worst actor on the planet (then in episodes 2 and 3 they replaced him with an even more horrendous actor). and i’m not saying that episode one is devoid of acting talent; they’ve got liam neeson and natalie portman. but for christ sake, i hate that little anakin with all of my heart.

Jake Lloyd portrayed 9-year-old Anakin Skywalker

derp derr derrrp use forse derp

do you guys remember that big fight at the end of the movie? the one where the big-ass donut-shaped trade federation fleet ships are busting naboo’s balls and all those yellow naboo ships go and fight them? and anakin activates one with his ass as he falls head-first into it and then miraculously blows up a whole ship? yeah. i do too.

and that fight with darth maul, that was so lame. maul is the most gangster sith lord, and yet he is easily chopped in half by obi wan. i was so disappointed when i first saw that scene.

stop feeding these hollywood trolls who just want your cash. george lucas is going to make millions (probably billions) off of this whole 3D craze, and you’re helping him do it. you’re helping him and all producers and studios like him who will sell america any steaming pile of shit as long as it makes money. so i guess if you’re willing to hand your money to these hollywood half-wits, then i hope you enjoy seeing jar jar binks in stunning, high-definition 3-D. i hope you enjoy every ‘meesa’ and ‘yoosa’ blasted into your eardrums by Dolby Digital 5.1 SurroundSound™. and most of all, i hope you enjoy knowing that we’re all in for much more jar jar, and you’re the ones who brought him back. (SMH).

tuesday funnn

so as the title suggests, tuesday was a good’n. i finally decided what i should do for my semester in digital imaging. i’m gonna draw a comic book.

but that’s not all, because, you see, a comic book needs to be ABOUT something. it’s necessary to have a ‘plot’ that’s both ‘intriguing’ and ‘true’, which is why i’m going to draw a comic book about psychedelics.

i mean, i’m not one to say that i’m particularly ‘well-versed’ in this kind of thing, but i feel like a trippy topic will give me a lot of leeway in terms of design and plot. i think i’m going to make the characters go through some weird shit, most likely finding inner nirvana, or death. either or. again, i’m not a professional psychedelian, but i think i know a thing or two from watching ‘superjail’.

i feel like this project is going to be the consummation of a dream of mine. i’ve always wanted to make a comic book, to be a cartoonist. it’s fun to create a world with your pen. and you’re basically god of the world those doodles live in; it’s like film making at its core. story-telling the way YOU see it. that’s what makes art worth while.

i can’t decide if i want to do the thing in color or just black and white, but i suppose i’ll decide that sometime down the road. who knows? maybe i’ll just do the whole thing in highlighter colors! then NOBODY will be able to read it (avant-garde status)!

i’ll be sure to share this comic whenever i get around to it. you can all be a part of the creative process; you can see my progress and give me pointers and i’ll ignore those pointers (just like a real artist!!). it’ll be fun, and it’ll give you an inflated sense of self-worth, especially if i make it look like i’m actually listening and taking pointers from you people.

well i don’t want to get you too excited too soon, i’m still working on initial sketches. but soon, my children.  sooooooon.

on a lighter note

we are all one.

in studies of the brain, scientists have uncovered that the brain is a mass of neurons. this bunch of neurons is entangled and dense, but has no center. every neuron in the brain has a purpose, and if every neuron works correctly, the brain can function on a high level.

now look at humankind. we’re like those masses of neurons, all interacting with each other but operating without a center. it’s the way facebook works, the way twitter works, the way the internet works. it makes visible the links we make with other humans, and it helps us realize how equal we all are. all of us crave the same things; we all need love, shelter, food, satisfying careers. we’re all running the same race. once we realize that it’s only a matter of time.

just a thought.

my beard is pissing me off

to start off this week, i could definitely rant about things that are pissing me off. that would be fun, and easy, and i’d have plenty of material. but perhaps that’s too easy.

i’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. not like morbid kind of stuff, but more along the lines of what happens when we die.

they say that your brain functions for about 5-10 minutes after the body has died. but since everything you experience right down to temporal perception are controlled by the brain, you could have an intense experience in those 5-10 minutes.

on sunday i woke up from a dream i had, which was surprisingly vivid; i had dreamt that my mom died. the thing that made it feel real was my emotions during the dream. they were of aching sorrow, of indescribable loss; a tear in my heart. when i woke up, i was astonished at how palpable the emotions had been while dreaming. if those kinds of emotions feel real during dreams, imagine what kind of feelings and experiences the pre-death dying brain produces.

if you’ve ever been on a crazy roller coaster, you’ll know the feeling of an endorphin rush. this is when the brain senses imminent death and floods the cns with high amounts of feel-good chemicals called endorphins. now obviously you don’t die on (most) roller coasters, so you probably don’t get a “full-blast” endorphin experience, but i’m certain that death brings an immense amount of endorphins into the body.

they say that dreams are linked to dimethyl-triptamine (dmt for short) production in the brain, and they say that once the brain realizes it’s dying, it releases a (large) amount of dmt into the nervous system. this has been speculated to be the source of the ‘white light’ experience that seems to be common with those experiencing death. dmt has been said to cause temporal distortion. joe rogan (yes, the guy from fear factor) has discussed publicly an experience he had where he lived an entire (perceived) lifetime before the drug wore off 10 minutes later. if the brain really does release dmt at the point of death, then could it be possible to live a whole lifetime inside that 5-10 minute window?

what if your whole life you’ve been dying on the scene of a car crash? what if this life is only the dmt-enhanced pre-death replay of your previous life? would that really be so bad?

just something to start off your week right.


when watching films and documentaries about the holocaust, or even reading about it, one eventually must ask oneself “how did this happen?” “how can mankind be so cruel to itself?” “how can a human do that to other humans?” these questions are hard to answer, but there is one underlying factor in all this cruelty (and all cruelty towards humans): dehumanization.

lately i’ve been grappling with some really tough questions of my own, regarding my life and my past, and specifically the kinds of cruelty i’ve been subjected to. i keep asking myself, “why did [removed] do this to me?” “how could [removed] be so cruel to me? so inhumane?”. the answer to these questions is the same as the answer during the holocaust. [removed] must have dehumanized me, made me into an abstraction, an enemy, something not worth thought or consideration. only once somebody isn’t a human is it possible to subject them to cruelty. if [removed] had really considered me as a living breathing thinking loving human being, i’d like to believe [removed] wouldn’t have been so cruel.

but i guess i can’t really know, i can’t really answer any questions with any certainty. and that’s kind of the maddening part; my mind is trying to wrap itself around this whole mass of blackness and pain and it just can’t do it. one piece seems to elude me. maybe it’s my dehumanization that i didn’t account for, but again, i’m never really going to know.

karma’s a bitch

look, i know it’s tiresome, trite, and a bit preachy, but you must realize that this here is simply my method of getting my thoughts on paper (or digital paper). before i head to my first class(es) of the semester, i’d like to sit down and write a little bit of what i know about karma.

now if you’re of a western faith, the concept of karma may not be in your realm of familiarity, but that is why i am here. i’m here to teach, to enlighten, and to boost my image of myself. that being said, let’s get into it.

karma is an ever-present force of the universe, and it is a part of the energy our world is made of. the beatles’ album ”abbey road” mentions the existence of karma in the last song, ‘the end’: “and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” of all the quotes from beatles songs, this is one of the most relevant to our daily lives. it speaks a simple message about karma; that whatever kind of energy you put into the world will come back to you. this is the basis of karmic thought; as justin timberlake put it: “what goes around comes around”.

when you introduce love and kindness to the world, you encourage love and kindness to be reciprocated. you make the world a better place. you lift the karmic weight from your soul. the same is true for the opposite. when you hurt and do wrong to people, all you encourage is for hurt and wrong-doing to come back to you. this happens all the time, and eventually the wrong-doers feel the pain and remorse for their actions. this is karma in action.

now, i’ve always believed that these principles are true, and many people second that belief. it’s just common knowledge. elementary school shit. the golden rule. some people, however, are blissfully unaware of this rule of common human decency. they burn and hurt and scar others without any thought to how it might feel from their perspective. i pity these people, because all they do is create a web of bad energy, of deceit, of lies that will all come back to them. no energy may be created nor destroyed, only transferred. one day all those things will come back to them, and hopefully they will survive it and become better individuals because of it. but don’t hold your breath.

if ever you find yourself in a world of hate and misery, don’t become a part of it. don’t get caught up in the ease and fun of name-calling and arguing. take a deep breath, open your eyes, and spread all the love you can. hopefully (and most likely), you will find that the love and good-will comes right back to you. that’s karma in action.

mornings are the best, right?

lately i’ve been waking up in the morning, mostly around 9:30-10am. if anyone knows me, they’ll know that this is a complete paradigm shift for me. just a week ago i was proudly amongst the contingency of people who fall asleep in the am and wake up in the pm. now it’s the inverse, and it has had some surprising results for me.

the morning is just such a magical time of day; you can just about tangibly feel the infinite potential the day has to bring. every single day can be the beginning of the rest of your life (and is). the morning is especially important in the winter, because of the sun leaving us so early in the evening. being awake in the morning allows one the luxury of more hours of sunlight, which are increasingly important in winter.

even physiologically, the morning is best. more sunlight allows for more transdermal collection of vitamin d, which allows for more seratonin to be produced in the brain. it’s a win-win-win to wake up early. it’s fact.

so for those of you who still hide from the sun, who still lay in bed while the rest of the world springs to life: you’re missing out. try it and you’ll see.

you think you’re so big?

i’ve got news for you: you’re not.

your greatest tools are deception, manipulation, and threat of violence. these things are characteristic of an individual with some real problems– problems i won’t even go into.

i have no clue why you would make me so angry on purpose, i guess to flex your muscles? to test if you still had the power to? i should have been more reserved, more present, but i guess you still do have some pull. no matter. that should dissipate with time. i’m not worried about it.

i’m not going to give in to your manipulation, though. i’m allowed to express myself by any means possible, and that includes writing in a public place. it’s my right as an american, and honestly i don’t know why it should matter if you’re really not reading it (but i know you are).

i hope this starts a fire in your heart, i hope all that rage you feel towards the world is directed right at me. because that means i still have pull with you, too. in most cases, my instincts would tell me not to play with fire, but it’s really fun, isn’t it? you had no right to fuck with me like that; it’s akin to terrorism.

i don’t know if in your mind you believe what you said to me was wrong, but i suppose that’s beside the fact. i’m going to write about whatever comes to mind, and (congratulations) you’re at the forefront of my mind today. i look forward to hearing about this later.

when it’s this cold outside

it’s hard to get up and out into the world when the wind bites and howls outside your window. it’s hard to get up the strength to bear it. you’re much better off staying warm inside and doing things inside-of-doors.

today i’m taking the day to draw and clean my room and watch spongebob, and i can’t think of a better use of time. especially when it’s this cold outside.

the sun’s already on its way out of frame, on its steep descent from the sky. it’s hard to stay up and at it when even the sun takes off early. the winter’s made for these types of things. without the cold outside, you wouldn’t have the warmth inside. if it weren’t so dark all the time, you wouldn’t feel the need for staying alight inside.

the winter is so essential to our yearly ebb and flow. what good would spring and summer be if we didn’t have to suffer through their contrapuntal equivalents? would we still appreciate being able to wear shorts and sandals if we didn’t have to wear parkas and boots? i’m led to believe that no, we wouldn’t enjoy them as much. endless summer would be taken for granted.

i think that’s why god gave the earth seasons; to make us appreciate each one for its own qualities. over the year we encounter both the death and the rebirth of mother nature, the gloom but also the joy. that’s what life really is, a point and a counterpoint, constantly shifting but always present. the absence of one leads to the creation of another. the opposites of the world exist in and of each other, reminding us that they are both crucial to our understanding of the world, and more or less of ourselves.

so if you head outside, be sure to brace yourself and bundle up, but also be sure to feel winter for all its ferocity, its exceedingly unkind gusts of ice and its dermal brutality. it won’t last nearly as long as you think.

July 2018
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