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Nonsense, Stream of Consciousness

there goes nate again, babbling incoherantly

i can’t stop thinking about that vast void beyond college. a world without school. it scares the fuck out of me.

for so long i’ve been cradled in the protective womb of academia, and i’ve loved it. i mean, c’mon. being a student is fucking awesome. for the entire history of western civilization, students have been revered as seekers, dreamers. now i stand on the verge of becoming a nobody, a wash-up, a has-been.

it scares the shit out of me that soon i’m going to have to submit, to surrender. my ‘fuck it’ attitude i hold so dear, i’ll need to cast it away. i’ll soon be full-tilt in the rat race that makes up our society, and it’s going to suck.

maybe one day i’ll even meet a girl i’ll want to marry, and then i’ll probably marry her, and then she’ll probably divorce me and leave me broken and helpless and dead.

all these things are possible out there, in the real world. it’s fucking terrifying.

so next time you’re wondered why i’m stressed, re-read this post.

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February 2012
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