seriously, all the odds are against me.
first off, i’m unbearably picky about my social life. i have little to no patience for people who don’t operate at my calibur of intellect. and yeah, that’s really pompous and masturbatory, but seriously, there’s nothing worse than telling a good joke that falls on deaf ears or flies over peoples’ heads. it’s the worst feeling in the world, and whenever it happens to me, i fall silent, making sure i don’t make the same mistake twice.
and all the time, i feel disappointment and resentment towards my generation. we’re a bunch of mindless self-concerned over-stimulated ne’er-do-wells. it’s almost necessary to dumb yourself down in order to become more socially acceptable (and dateable). that’s what i did for the last relationship i was in, and it was hell. laughing at stupid quips, feigning interest in bland topics of conversation, mimicking acceptable behavior in order to be more presentable. fuck it all. it’s not worth my time.
and that’s why i’m going to die cold and alone, because i am unable to settle for less than what i believe i deserve. i want to be with somebody who really gets me, who doesn’t find my humor rude or socially unappealing. i want somebody who will make me feel like the best me, who won’t want me to dumb down, who will say “screw the rest” and just sit around with me and talk about strange ideas and bottomless enigmas. for this reason, i have no hope of companionship. a person like that is just too good to be true.