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Critique, in my pompous opinion (impo)

to be honest, i’m disappointed in you miami

so today we went to miami, which is supposedly a cool city (at least it’s portrayed that way), but i was way disappointed. it was like the jersey shore of florida, and i hate the jersey shore.

i saw soo many people on segways today i almost lost all hope for humanity. i mean c’mon, use your fucking legs, people. you look like absolute morons. plus everyone at the beach was either really fat or ugly (in my impeccable opinion). it reminded me of the jersey shore so much (shudder).

plus we went to the gelato place that those worthless fucks from the jersey shore tv show worked at when they “lived” in miami, and it looks like that’s the place’s only selling point.. they had pictures of those tactless clods all over the place. here’s a tip, fellas, take those photos down. it’s tacky, and it comes off reeeally desperate. i’m sure your gelato will sell itself if you dont look so wrapped up in those talentless cockbags.

anyway, im done ranting i think. miami, you disappointed me. i don’t think i’ll be coming back anytime soon, so i guess we can both be happy about that. nathan out.

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