lately I’ve been reading. a lot.
i suppose that’s part of the reason i haven’t written in a while; after reading brilliant philosophy or listening to an enthralling lecture, it’s hard to write anything of your own.
in these talks, i found a certain resonance with one of the things Brown said about depression; that in nearly all cases, it is brought on by shame. shame is the voice telling you that you’re not smart enough, good enough, strong enough, pretty enough. shame is the one telling you you’re not worthy.
shame resonates differently with men than it does with women. women are constantly under societal pressure to “do it all, do it well, and never let them see you sweat.” as well as constant bombardment from advertisements and pop culture about what the perfect female should look like. men only have one societal mantra: never be perceived as weak.
we’ve all felt some sort of shame before, and it is always born in vulnerability. when people are vulnerable, they’re completely undefended, completely helpless. while vulnerability can lead to shame and depression and heartbreak, vulnerability is also the birthplace of love, of empathy and of connection.
when people are open with each other and not afraid to be vulnerable, connections and empathy are free to form. and despite the misconception that vulnerability is weakness, it exudes an inner strength that is unparalleled by veiled actions and shameful avoidance of vulnerability.
i think one of the reasons i haven’t blogged in a while is because i realized how vulnerable it really made me. i felt shame when i thought about all the emotionally charged posts i made public, and it made me want to avoid writing any more. all kinds of different people can come onto this page and read what i’ve written, and they could potentially ruin me or humiliate me using my own words. but in being vulnerable and writing what feels right, i only hope to promote more empathy and connection. i hope that somebody feels the same way i do, so they can know they aren’t alone out there. being open and defenseless can be hard, sometimes excruciatingly so, but it’s the only way we can connect with each other.
i hope you watch and enjoy the two videos above, i did. knowing the destructive thought patterns that occur in your head is the first step; making those thoughts known. i’m going to do more in my life to promote vulnerability (hopefully), starting with this.